Morning Surprises
by Touch of Grey
Summary: A lesson in why no one, especially mostly metallic men who may or may not have crushes on their best friends, should drink. Vic/Gar, morning-afterish hijinks and gratuitous Questionable Content references.


Vic awoke suddenly, head pounding and looking at four walls that most certainly didn't belong to him.

'Okay, this isn't my lab, and unless she recently painted the place purple, this isn't Sarah's guest room, either. _Think_, Stone! What did you do last night between leaving the Tower and waking up this morning?'

There had been a bar. There had most definitely been a bar. And singing. And...pantsless dancing (and _why_ had the bartender called for that?). Kory had been there with Dick, and Roy had been throwing back shots with Grace like it was going out of style. Jade and Kyle had been...making out on the counter, as far as he could remember. How Kyle'd ended up dancing atop said counter wearing her bra was still a mystery to everyone, however, and he rally hoped it would stay that way. Gar had showed up halfway through the third round of tube and jello shots, complaining about having to sneak in and he'd- shit. _Gar_.

There was a shower in close proximity to whomever's room this was, and it was just shut off. Vic prayed to every deity he'd ever heard of, plus a few he made up on the spot, that the person showering wasn't who he thought it might be.

'God, Allah, Buddah, Yahweh, X'hal, Azar, Rao, Cheezy McDougalsmith, lord of pizza, _please please PLEASE_ don't let that be my best friend. Or some random girl. Hell, please let that be a shower poltergeist and not a living being at all...'

The door opened and at that precise moment, Victor Stone lost all faith in random deities, real and fake.

It was an unsurprising fact that Gar Logan looked good soaking wet and wearing only a towel. The only really surprising fact in the lot was that the opinion had come from _Vic's_ mind. Noticing that the room's other occupant was awake, the world's first living zoo grinned.

"Morning, Vic. How's your head?" That was it? No stupid nickname? No snarky commentry? Gar grinned again. "We didn't sleep together, Chrome Dome. You're still wearing your metal, see?" Oh. Hey. Well what do you know? "We just made out for three or so hours until you fell asleep and proceeded to use me as a living plush toy. For a guy made of metal, you are surprisingly inclined towards cuddling."

Oh God. This was pretty much one of the biggest shock wakeups of his _life_, so how come he was more focused on the towel that was hanging onto Gar's hips by sheer force of will?

"Um. Yeah. Could you, uh, put some clothes on? Please?" Gar's grin was going from snarky to just plain obnoxious.

"You got it, buddy." he said cheerfully, flinging off the towel.

Flinging off the towel.

_Flinging off the towel._

This just in: we will be rescheduling this morning's panic attack in order to admire that fine, fine ass.

Gar tilted his head slightly, managing to look hot, _not_ goofy, in a pair of orange boxers with Scooby Doo on them and concerned at the same time."You okay, Vic?"

"...you're hot."

Laughter was an expected reaction, but it was nonetheless unappreciated.

"I kinda got that, man, what with all the groping and all. So is this going to make things weird between us or are we gonna just roll with the right hook to the gut this morning has been and pretend it never happened? After all, you _were_ pretty drunk." Yeah, that was right, he _had_ been- wait, _he'd_ been drunk, but what about..? "Oh no, I was completely sober. I'm 19, remember? And the legal drinking age, last I checked, was still 21." Oh shit.

_Oh shit_.

"Stop cursing in your head, Tin Man. I've been meaning to tell you that I was bi since, damn, since before I moved to L.A.. I figured it out somewhere between the time Yumi died and Joey went psycho, but the only reason I never said anything is because I kinda figured you already _knew_. And judging by the look on your face, you totally _didn't_. But all that aside, I was a bit more focused on finding out if _you_ were, which is why I made sure we didn't get much further than making out and casual groping." How the hell was Gar finding the time to be so _coherent_?! It was early, and they'd just spent the night making out! And groping! Mutual groping! And the thought of that was-

whoa. Good _morning_, lower extremities. Quick! Think of purple elephants! Guh, that reminded him of that fight between Gar and Doc Register. Much better.

Before which, Gar was blonde and normal looking and totally _hot._ After which, he was completely naked.

_Shit_.

"Stop cursing in your head, Vic." Gar chastised, now crouching atop his dresser like some extremely sexy bird of prey. There was a joke in there somewhere, but Vic was far too hung over, sexually confused, and, to be frank, turned on to really care. "So where do we go from here? Weirdness, memory-blanks? What?"

"Sure, start out with the easy questions, Salad Head." Gar's obnoxious grin softened a fraction.

"No prob. Just as soon as you answer the main one."

Victor groaned quietly, studied his own hands for a minute or two, then glanced at Gar from the corner of his eye.

"What if I just asked you out on a real date? One that had no booze but might end in groping anyway?"

Gar fell off the dresser. Of course, he changed into a cat halfway to the floor, to make it seem like he'd done it on purpose, but Vic knew him better than that.

"Are, are you serious, Vic? Because if you're screwing with me, I swear to God-"

"If it turns out I'm subconsciously screwing with you, feel free to kick my ass from here to Tamaran. But as I'm genuinely asking you out...what do you say?" A muscle twitched in Gar's jaw as he chewed on his lip.

"Can I get that in writing? My agent always said-" Vic laughed, stroking the insanely soft fur between Gar's kitty shoulder blades.

"Aw, shut up, Green Genes. I'll type you up a full proposal later, once my head stops feeling like its being kicked by kangaroos in wooden shoes."

They sat there in an amiable, almost blissful silence for the better part of ten minutes, and then Gar ruined it by speaking.

"Because if you're screwing with my head without bothering to attend to the rest of me, we're gonna have some serious issues."

And with a look of serene peacefulness on his face, Victor Stone pushed his best friend and maybe-sorta boyfriend off the bed.

Fini

Sarah Simms, because Sarah Charles was clearly Cyborg's beard. Yeah, I'm going back to goofy. Slightly. Because I really can't write these two without goofiness entering the mix. I'm pretty sure that some day I'll go the full distance and write porn for these guys, but when I do, Gar will be holding a rubber chicken during the entire damn thing.


End file.
